New Year's Day 2015: Goal Setting Fun

We interrupt your hangover cure processes to bring you this important message: I really couldn't give two feathers about New Years Eve. It's always overhyped, over-anticipated and a total disappointment. But New Years Day I LOVE. It's a free day off in the middle of the week where you get to do what I am doing right now: set goals and intentions for the coming year.  I've broken my goals down into two categories: house projects and daily living. Let's dive in shall we?

House Projects in 2015:

We've already done so much to the house that it seems crazy to have enough projects going forward to make a proper list, but... have you met me? Read this blog? You know my love for a list and a project runs deep. JUDGMENT FREE ZONE PEOPLE!

Laundry Room

In 2015 I want to finish the laundry room.  Luckily for us, the stenciling is almost done and the new units get delivered this weekend. I still need LB to build the bench top and the floating shelves, and I need to track down some gold hooks (that aren't $24 each).  A trip to Goodwill is in order as is a date with my Rub 'n Buff me thinks. IMG_2823

I want to take out the wall between the kitchen and living room and get a bench top/island in there. Since this is a $2,000+ project, it might not happen this year. #gettingoutofdebt



We are so close to totally finishing the master bedroom. We need a headboard and some art for the walls and then this puppy is D-U-N-E done. (Last night, Finley was spelling SANTA, S-A-N-T-O. Out of a solidarity, I am making some discreet vowel changes today).


Get a new couch in the upstairs living room. I want a sectional. I need a sectional. Our house is the gathering place for my peeps and I want to make sure that we all have enough room to sit comfortably. Which we don't, currently.


Build/stain/do SOMETHING with the orange dining room table. The dining room is another area were we are SO DARN CLOSE to being done.

And finally, paint the trim black around the outside of the house. I have the paint and need it to not be -3 so that I can do it. Truth be told, in totally lame and not at all DIY of myself, we might hire this out. Something about me or/and LB on a ladder painting makes me think, "No. Just NO."

Daily Living Changes

The biggest thing that I am incorporating this year is a recommitment to think, act, and speak with more LOVE. It's that simple really.


For my Christmas present, Esther sent me a Kindle version of A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles."  I started reading it on December 30, and as of today, I have 45 underlined or highlighted passages.  I encourage you to read this with us as I have a feeling I am going to make a printable of all of these gorgeous love quotes.  So dive in. Speak. Act. Think. Love with a heart that recognizes that it is all, through and through, made from, desires to be the thing that we all know and crave: LOVE.


In alignment with my LOVE recommitment, I am going to try ever harder this year, to speak LB's love language. Mainly: Acts of Service. He is not joking when he says that he would rather I clean up after myself than tell him that I love him.  Sometimes this is exhausting because I feel like I am already doing so much in other areas of our lives together that him telling me I am not doing enough seems... well... insulting. But Loving Well does mean dying to self so we will definitely be working on this area (6.5 years and counting. Isn't marriage funny that way? Every marriage has a sticking point. A place that ALWAYS needs extra love, grace, and patience. I choose VERY DIFFICULTILY to say that this is what makes love and life interesting).


I also am going to continue to love on my people. My friends are just such incredible people and I always feel that I can do better for them. It's as simple as not allowing us to skip girl's night every week and making special plans to hang out with them every once in a while. I have to be careful here though because I *COUGH*COUGH* have a tendency to overbook myself. Balance folks. Balance.


I never in 8 million years thought that I would have an exercise goal as part of my New Years plan. But never say never. I MUST get to the gym three days a week this coming year. It is time to recommit after my shoulder surgery in September. I don't care if I just go and ride the bike. I just must go. Let me be clear: this is not about weight and it never is for me. It is about health. Get all huffy puffy while walking to work is just ridiculous now.

So share. What are you focusing on in this upcoming year?

My Thoughts on 30

One of my favorite songs is still Strawberry Wine by Deanna Carter. I know every word of that entire album actually. It's this lyric, among others, that stuck with me when I first heard it in 1996... (HOLY crap. That was almost 20 years ago.)

I still remember when thirty was old.

I used to hear that and think "... still remember?!? I STILL think 30 is old."

And now here I am. 30. Wow.

I feel like turning older is one of those things that can be scary in the abstract and then the second that you are there you think, "Huh. Cool. I'm thirty." For me this birthday has been such a great time of reflection and the thing that I keep coming back to is how GRATEFUL I am. It is permeating me and choking me out in the best way. When I am not at work there is not an hour that goes by where I don't stop and think either aloud or quietly, "I am so damn lucky. Look at all that I have. How did I get to be so annoyingly cheesily hashtag blessed?" The answer comes fast and furious from the ego: "Because you worked your ass off. You worked on yourself and you continue to do so." While this is a true statement Mr. Ego, when I am able to shut you up for a second, the answer becomes more true.


I am blessed by being in community with other people. By being vulnerable with them and with myself. By exercising forgiveness for myself and for others. By letting things go nearly immediately. By no longer having to work so dang hard at being in the moment. By not taking things so personally and by understanding that everyone's actions that slight me AREN'T ABOUT ME.

I frequently say things like, "You've got to do the work and own your own shit." Or, "You get the right to make your life look the way that you want it to look. No matter what ANYONE thinks." But my most favorite go to when talking to friends who are having issues is, "THAT AIN'T ABOUT YOU KID." Cause it's not. When your parents fight and throw fits about not spending enough time with them or doing it the exact way they want you to... that isn't about YOU! That is their crap. Their ego, their insecurities, their fears being projected onto you.

When people say things that categorically aren't true about you (i.e., you didn't invite me to your wedding... when in truth, I have the calligrapher's receipt for that invitation, I mailed said invitation, and said invitation was never returned to me), the phrase that allows me to let it go is that that lie IS NOT ABOUT ME. Even though it seems to be. Even though the subject of said lie appears to be directly and categorically about me.

But. It isn't.

maturing That is their crap. It is insecurity run amok. And it's not my job to fix it. It is not a reflection about who I am or what my heart is or what my intentions with others ever are.

And for clarification, my only intention EVER is to make others lives better. My actions are still working to line up with that intention all of the time, but I am working on it.

So those are the things that I am reflecting on after 30 years of life. Gratitude and separating others crap from my own. It might not seem like much (those two blessings) but MAN OH MAN did I work for 30 hard years to be aware of those two simple principles.