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January 01, 2013

New Year, New Gratitudes

January 01, 2013/ treanab

Here is what 2012 gave me: A fiance, a future, a job, and a new perspective on life and living.

Those four things are worth more than any present... they represent a peace of mind that has allowed me to let go in places that needed to be let go of, and hang on for dear life to others that had been neglected.

Feeling blessed.

House of Bennetts

Hey now. I'm Treana...welcome to my little slice of the internet where I get to use exclamation points with abandon!!! We do more here than overuse certain forms of punctuation. Around these parts you'll find DIY projects, budgeting ups and downs and tools, photography fun, food goodness, music loves, and hopefully a little inspiration. We talk about anything and everything here and hope that you'll join us in our mutual weirdness we call life. For more about us, our wedding, and our lives, visit the 'Bout the Bennetts page. (I so wanted to put an exclamation point there).

Lyla’s family birthday party. Lyla is 3, Sophie is 13, and Henry is 10! And just so much family. #youdownwithlmb @jlpoundstone

Hardest and longest trip to the PNW. Healing and brutal. Like is just like that: brutal and beautiful. brutiful.

I love you.

My heart. 💔

I was ten when they were born: identical twins. Jessica 8 pounds, Madeline 6. The two most perfect babies I’d ever seen. I was obsessed with them and that whole summer when I was 11, I would beg to go to my aunt/mom’s house so that I could babysit them and my mom could sleep (night shift, ya know). I spent so many hours with them, it’s ridiculous. They were fused to my heart. Then, as life, especially in my family, happens, a severing started. I went to college and made sure to stay close by for all my sisters but especially for Jessica. There was something deeply sad in her even then. I’ll never forget the panicked phone calls from my mom about finding vomit hidden all over the house and the desperation we all had to help Jess. To hear her. To save her. We. Fucking. Tried. The severing continued. The drugs and alcohol started on top of everything else. The suicide attempts over the last 8 years. Panicked. Always. And then the text from the other half of Jessica’s heart last night to me: “Call me when you can.” Reply: “Calling now Maddie.” I’m so pissed the severing fucking won and Jessica is gone. I’m infuriated that I’ve now lost my brother and a sister. The last picture I have of us is from Trenton’s funeral and its horseshit. This losing of young people in my family: usually everyone just abuses themselves until 90 somehow. But mostly I am shattered for the other half of Jessica’s heart, my Madeline, and my mom. When I last FaceTimed with Jess, she got to see Lyla and she said, in a whispered shock, “She’s... so happy?” Like that happiness has not occurred to her in a long time. But I KNOW it was there. I spent hours basking in it and didn’t want to be anywhere else than with the two of them. I hold on to that for Jess now that she can’t anymore. I hold on to the happiness she shared with Madeline cause hell, someone has to.

Hello Doug. Welcome home. We waited almost two years exactly to bring home a dog since we lost Walter. If his cuteness is any indication, we’re all gonna be fine here. #dougthedoodle #sweetdog @walkingwithwalterdenver

Just miss and love my bestie and also can’t believe how good we look in a picture with a flash... in the dark. #wecute #webothareasweatymesspostworkoutprobablyrightnow @sammikitch

Happy Halloween from our Elsa girl. I pitched all the other things: doctor, snowman, teacher, paw patrol, truck. But nope. She wanted Elsa. #halloweencostume

It’s the thing I look forward to every birthday for the past ten years: my father in law always calls and sings me Happy Birthday with some pizzaz. Then he and my mother in law tell me how loved and cherished I am. It’s the perfect way to start 34. At this time in life, I’m proud and peaceful- in equal measure. Everything is balanced enough and everyone knows (including myself): we’re okay here. #34flirtyandthriving

This little snow baby is so lucky to have her dad. He’s taken on raising her full time, just took on boarding a dog for his business @walkingwithwalterdenver, and has still been organizing our new house. I’m proud of the two of them like woah. And I miss them. I miss them a lot. @robrich23

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House of Bennetts

What I'm Loving Lately... Likely From Amazon