When I first started law school... nay... even before I had started law school and LB and I had just moved here. We ran into a group of TFA/Law school people. One of the girls, who was incredibly rude, asked where we had just moved from and why we were in Denver. LB told her we had just come from Phoenix for law school. Her response: "You are so fucked. You are going to be a 1L... just wait till finals."
Obviously for her to make a judgment about us without knowing everything we had already been through was (to put it mildly) irritating. So 1L year started and it was really hard. I had never worked so hard and been so doubtful about my abilities at something. THEN FINALS CAME. I seriously did not stop studying for more than a half an hour a day and was awake for approximately 18 hours a day. It was so hard. But I did well... and I kept doing well. After my first session of finals LB was so proud of me and he has remained so proud of me.
This series of finals (the fall of my 3L year) has been the roughest yet. Not because the work is so hard, but because I am still finding it so hard to not think about my brother. I have to be at such a level of focus all day that there does not seem to be time to sit with Trenton. And yet, when I literally can only eat, shower, and study... the house keeps running and LB keeps on loving me.
He made me just sit and talk to him the other night about life, politics and faith for about 45 minutes. No TV... just a check in. I was able to vent to him about my family stuff and was able to tell him that in that moment, I just wanted to vent. No feedback. No suggestions just venting. And then tonight, he saved the 12/12/12 concert for me so that we could sit on the couch, listen to Billy Joel, and he rubbed my feet for a solid 20 minutes.
I am so well loved that I just don't know how to say thank you sometimes. So I just keep telling him how much I appreciate him and that my success in law school really is because of him. I just keep doing well in school and he keeps loving me... no matter what.